Ruth Barker

I Was Uranium

2010
Sils Gallery, Rotterdam
I Am Odysseus I Am Odysseus I Am Odysseus I Am Odysseus I Am Odysseus

 

 

I Was Uranium was a three person exhibition with artists Toril Johannessen and Pascal Schwaighofer.

Exhibited was a video of a performance to camera of I Am Odysseus, which was filmed at the University of Newcastle as part of the artist's 2010 Leverhulme-funded residency at the Centre for Interdisciplinary Artefact Studies there. The video was produced with many thanks to Jamie Allen (CultureLab), and Dr Venda Pollock (School of Fine Art).

Images show the video installed at Sils Gallery. For more on this work, see How We Can Open The Lotus and I Am Odysseus.

Sils is a project space managed by a committee of five artists and curators: Stefano Calligaro, Rachel Carey, Teresa Iannotta, David Stamp and Kathrin Wolkowicz. ‘I Was Uranium’ was kindly supported by the Swiss Arts Council Pro Helvetia

 

 

I Am Odysseus

SCRIPT

 

 

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

 

Me. Me. Me.

Me.    Me.

I am Odysseus.

I am a man.

I am humble and naked.

I am tired.

 

I am the greatest of them all. Help

Me. I am Odysseus.

 

Help me: I tell beautiful lies.

Help me: I spent ten years at Troy.

Help me: I’ve been ten years at sea.

Help me: I know rape and drowning and seduction. I know death and

Help me: I know homecoming.

 

Help me.

 

I am the only story ever told to you

Today

Tomorrow.

 

Help me.

 

I am the Preface saying:

Men after conflict are forever coming home.

To me.

Through me.

Believe me.

I am going home.

 

All I have to trade are the nine parts of my story.

All I have to trade are the nine parts of my journey.

To get here, beginning by

Saying that,

10 years ago

 

I sailed.

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw land and called:

Part 1

The Lotus Eaters.

 

We landed.

We landed.

We landed A.

We landed A. A. A.

 

And found some plants, flesh bloomed and scented. A.

Sitting on our lungs, our minds, like pollinated succubi.

Heavy, wet, and full of poisoned - A.

 

My men

Had:

Lotus in the hand, dreaming.

Lotus in the tongue, touching.

Lotus in the arm, sleeping.

Lotus in the fingers numbing.

Lotus in the lungs, perfuming.

Lotus in the knees singing.

Lotus in the belly, heaving.

Lotus in the legs, lusting.

Lotus in the groin, falling,

Lotus in the back, painting,

Lotus in the mind into colour, into form, into space, into reeling AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 

(My men). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw cliffs and called:

Part 2

The Cyclops Polyphemus.

 

We landed.

We landed.

We landed I.

We landed I, I, I.

 

I was there.

I was nobody, then.

I was nobody.

Nobody was in the cave,

Nobody was lying.

Nobody was stabbing.

Nobody was blinding.

Nobody was covered in eye-blood.

Nobody was tearing and gouging.

Nobody was in the dark.

Nobody was in the blackness. Nobody was there: I, I, I, I, I, I, I.

 

And I was Nobody

The greatest of them all.

Was Nobody.

 

(Nobody). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw a gift and called:

Part 3

The bag of wind.

 

We sailed.

We sailed.

We sailed U

We sailed U, U, U.

We sailed with the wind in our pockets.

 

An accident (a shame) and we were blown.

 

Away

Away

Away

Away

From home

From U.

 

Away

Away

Away

Away

From home

From U.

 

 

Away

Away

Away

Away

From home

From U.

 

Away

Away

Away

Away

From home

From U, U, U, U, U, U, U.

 

The sense of loss a swallowed stone

Intact. It weighs us down.

 

The sense of loss a swallowed stone

Intact. It weighs us down.

 

(Down) I sailed.

 

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw blood and called

Part 4

The Laestrygonians.

 

We landed.

We landed.

We landed Y

We landed Y. Y. Y.

 

There was blood on the sand. Y

There was blood on the soil Y

There was blood on the grass Y

There was blood on the rocks Y

There was blood on the trees, on the sky, on our words, on the faces of those we met. Y

There was blood on their minds.

 

Y: we were murdered and devoured like animals.

 

(Animals). I sailed.

 

 

  

And in the distance I saw song and called:

Part 5

The Isle of Circe.

 

We landed.

We landed.

We landed C.

We landed C. C. C.

 

I can sing you two songs. C. Two songs.

 

The first:

A song of lurid metamorphosis

Sings pigs and squealing pork,

Sing pig

Sing pig

Sing pig

Sing pig

Sing C.

C.C.

Sing: pink piggy death and bacon on our table;

 

OR

 

A second song, of human goddess lust,

And sex and domination.

Sing sing then pig death, bacon on our morning table.

 

Sing.

Sing.

Sing.

Sing.

Sing.

Sing Sing, the Isle of Circe sings. C.

 

(C). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw Hope and called:

Part 6

The Kingdom of the dead.

 

In

The Kingdom of the dead:

In speaking, there.

In thinking, there.

In darkness, there.

In fear,

In tenderness, there.

 

I said now,

Mother,

Mother,

Soldier,

Soldier,

Friend,

My friends.

 

So many dead.

 

And who am I?

I am Odysseus,

And crying.

 

(crying). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw waves and called

Part 7

The Sirens.

 

We sailed.

We sailed.

We sailed O.

We sailed O, O, O.

 

And I could hear the sirens.

Sirens,

Sirens,

Sirens

Calling O O O

Calling O O O

They called me O O O

They called me O O O

They called me O O O Odysseus.

 

My ears are open.

And I could hear the sirens

I could hear you, sirens

I could hear the sirens,

I could hear you, sirens

I could hear the sirens,

I could hear you, sirens,

You called me

You called me

You called me,

And I was tied.

 

You called me O O O O O

You called me O O O O O

You called me O O O O O

You called me O O O Odysseus.

 

(Odysseus). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw teeth and called

Part 8

The Scylla and Charybdis

 

We sailed.

We sailed.

We sailed V

We sailed V, V, V.

 

V between drowning and eating

V Between eating and swallowing

V Between swallowing and biting

 

V

 

Between living and dying

Between staying and moving

Between lying and speaking

Between fighting and waiting

 

V

 

Between a rock and a hard place, or

The shape

Between the devil

And the deep sea.

 

(Sea). I sailed.

 

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw gold and called

Part 9

The cattle of the sun.

 

We landed.

We landed.

We landed, Lo.

We landed, Lo, Lo, Lo.

 

To eat the sun cow.

Sun rising on an empty belly,

Makes that belly full alive, alive, lo.

 

A god, Lo.

God flesh beef. Lo.

A god.

Eaten. But

Never dying, Lo.

Never digesting.

Never breaking down.

Never coming undone.

 

A God

 

Never should be chewed,

Never should be swallowed,

Never should be shat out,

 

Never Never

Never Never

Never Never eat a god: Disgusting. Unholy.

 

Punished. Lo.

We would be punished.

 

Punished. Lo.

We should be punished.

 

(Punished). I sailed.

 

 

 

And in the distance I saw you and called:

 

You.

You.

You.

You.

You.

You.

You.

You.

All of you.

You are my Epilogue.

 

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me.

Me.       Me.

Me. Me. Me.

I Am Odysseus

I am going home.